the fine print

www.envasion.net is the product of a deranged mind. the editors, owner, and most contributors are hacks, whacks, or weirdos. they are not to be taken seriously unless you also are a hack, whack or weirdo. the terms hack, whack, and weird are used in the kindest sense and are not meant to offend anyone. if you are easily offended or under the age of 21 you might be more comfortable at a more conventional website so go away and leave us to fester in our insanity.

feel free to take anything we say as bible truth, or at least as true as we believe the bible and other such works of creative fiction are not. nothing is sacred at envasion.net except perhaps prozac. speaking of which, i need to go refill my prescription for the myriad of anti-psychotic drugs i keep forgetting to take.

have you ever heard of journalistic integrity? well good for you because we haven't. or we have and have blocked it out like those memories of childhood beauty pageants and the strange incident with cow's blood at the senior prom. what i'm trying to say is that sometimes we lie, sometimes we tell the truth, and sometimes we mix the two. we reserve the right to keep which is which to ourselves. as the wise ones said in kindergarten, that is for me to know and you to find out.

as for copywrites and other such nonsense, we are fully covered by the law under the 'humor and journalism' clause. so don't get your panties in a wad if we use your logo or product and make ample fun of it. if it bothers you, email me and i will consider taking it down, but i'm not making any promises. in fact, i will most likely just post your letter and make more fun of you. so in the same sense of fair play, feel free to rip us off and if we get pissed off feel free to poke fun at us for being crybabies.

if you don't have a sense of humor, go download one somewhere. we can not be responsible for idiocy, lunacy, or the fact that some people will inevitably have a stick rammed so far up their ass it's coming out of their nose. in other words, we don't care. think of us as babbling idiots, because that is how we think of you. by reading this and any other portion of envasion.net you agree to take anything and everything we say with a grain of salt. you also agree that using or repeating any information found on this website is not only stupid but may also be illegal and may constitute compromising national security.

while we're on the subject of national security, we will report facts when and if we find them or make up random facts at will to suit us. if by any disturbing coincidence we accidentally stumble across the truth we are truly sorry and will print a retraction saying so if informed of our error. if any of the stories that we report on mistakenly compromise the secret conspiracy of any person or government, maybe they should think twice about their master plan(s) because if we can crack them, anyone can. after all, this is a website for and maintained by hacks, whacks, and weirdos.

so if your mind is now at ease and you understand that we refuse to take responsibility for any content on this website including this disclaimer, i shall now log off the internet so i can remove this itchy tin-foil suit i have to wear anytime i am near a computer to keep the electrostatic waves from compromising my brain waves.