| |
"...the cow jumped over the moon"
by loreillee
 |
the picturesque "silver spoon" dairy farm in wisconsin has been producing high-quality milk and cream since 1902. they have a reputation of breeding a long line of prize winning heifers and bulls. what is the secret of their success? according to owner john londry, it is "work(ing) hard to ensure the health and happiness of our cows, and that makes for better dairy products. and the famous pedigree of our livestock helps, of course." what is this famous pedigree? the "silver spoon" farm claims that their cows are all descendants of trixie, the cow who jumped over the moon.
according to legend, after trixie's famous jump, she landed in the londry's vegetable garden. she had no brand but sparkled with moon dust. she gave such incredible milk and had such a spectacular past, that the londry's were quick to trace down her former owners and pay them handsomely so that they could keep her. over the years they bred her with the best stock they could find and now have a flourishing farm. but a recent scientific discovery may leave the "silver spoon" in ruins, bringing shame to the londrys and generations of trixie's descendants. |
on december 1st, 2002, larry r., a 16 year old aspiring astronomer in utah, made a startling discovery through the lens of his telescope. in his words, "i had been experimenting with different combinations of lenses trying to make my telescope as powerful as possible without spending a fortune on a new 'scope. with my increased magnification i was scanning the lunar surface around 11:00 pm when i saw what appeared to be a skeleton." larry took his findings to the nearest observatory and explained what he thought he had seen. they pointed their lens skyward and checked the same area, and came up empty handed.
|
but larry wasn't ready to give up. he came back the next evening at 10:00 pm and persuaded the astronomers to give him one more chance. again, they focused the giant telescope in the area that larry had pinpointed, but the crater was too deeply shadowed to see anything but darkness. they stayed focused on the area and it gradually lightened as the moon's position changed relative to the sun. at precisely 10:49 pm, the crater was fully lit and there lay the undeniable bones of a cow. by 11:03 the crater was once again shadowed, explaining why the observatory had not seen anything the night before.
for over a hundred years, these remains had literally been in the dark except for less than fifteen minutes a night. according to the scientists, the bone positioning is consistent with an "impact landing." the findings were independently verified by two other observatories and extensive photos were taken of the area before the news story hit front pages everywhere. trixie's historic jump over the moon had been a failure. she had made it to the moon, but never returned. the "silver spoon" dairy farm is a fraud. |  |
larry r. continues his study in astronomy, but the londry's exposure as fakes has crippled their business. they held a press conference on december 26th to announce that "we truly believed that the cow that landed in our family garden a hundred years ago was the 'real deal'. we are devastated to think that our beloved trixie may not have been the famous cow that jumped over the moon, but we believed it as much as anyone. the 'silver spoon' stands on its reputation for clean, fresh dairy and healthy, strong stock. we apologize for any misunderstanding." but the neighboring farms aren't as ready to forgive and forget. they are outraged by the trixie scandal and feel that the londrys intentionally deceived them in order to have an unfair advantage in the cut-throat dairy market. the dish and the spoon could not be reached for comment.
|
