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"pickled in plastic-the millicent story"
by h.bob long
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I am sure you all have been wondering what happened to me . . .well, I barely escaped before the toymen found my hideout. I have moved around very much since and it has been hard to hide with a giant freaking u-haul truck full of possessions that seems to follow me around. Maybe it is because I am driving it. Hmmm . . . I wonder if they will notice if I paint it green & blue with flowers and trees . . . maybe then the toymen will have a harder time finding it . . . mayhap I will just keep it . . . I am in California now to be closer with the roots of the conspiracy to warp our nations children! I DO have an update on the little "Millicent" tramp. So, on to the real news! |
I am sure you are all familiar with the childhood icon for womanly beauty and brains, so, as her middle name really is "Millicent" I shall call her thusly. Millicent is an ideal that young girls hold up as what they want to look like, live like and be. Little boys see her as the ideal woman. I say this ideal is crap! Millicent is a lot of things, but a role model is NOT one of them! I will submit to you the proof I have collected on this:
Millicent may seem beautiful, but her measurements are totally unrealistic! It is impossible to create the comparative body without extensive surgery and no one would be able to live like that! Cindy Jackson has had many surgeries and still does not have the true Millicent dimensions! This "ideal" is damaging to young girls and teaches them that if they do not look like this impossible example, they cannot possibly be beautiful. Now, I did some extensive research and have found that 4 in 10,000 people in the USA is anorexic, 2 in every 10,000 is bulimic, and 39% of the USA is overweight. Of the 39%, most are miserable, depressed, and ridiculed on a daily basis about how they look. Studies have shown that overweight people are paid less, are cheated on, discriminated against and generally crapped on every day as a result of the ideal we have of what is desired & beautiful. |
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Millicent looks to be the "girl for all occasions" but look again . . . she REALLY is "a jack of all trades, a master of none". To put it simply ~ the b!tch can't keep a job! She is everything cheesy and superficial, but I have yet to see her do any REAL work! I would like to see her save the world, discover an ancient race of peoples, cure cancer, or really contribute something to the human race she apparently represents. What does this really teach the children? You do not have to ever plan for the future, just skip merrily from job to job never saving money or worrying what will happen tomorrow! |
If you do not like tomorrow, throw a beach party in your Maui dream cottage or go skiing as it's only a 2 hour ride in your jeep to the slopes from your Colorado dream ranch house . . . no, wait, you can take the horses instead and make it a weekend trip! I had a friend who was like this. Had. He always seemed to have the money for what he wanted but never had the same phone number for three straight months and never EVER called unless he wanted something. I don't know what happened to him, but he may be coming soon to a store near you! To work. And I hear his ex-wife is still trying to get child support out of him. Is that what you want for YOUR child?
I would also like for Millicent to tell us how she stays so skinny and why she never gets PMS. She also MUST have some really pent up anger over all the skimpy outfits and the plasti-formed underpants. Just imagine, no nipples, no kids, but the worst ~ NO SEX! She hangs around with a bunch of girls who look exactly like her with colored contacts and a dye job, her younger teen sis, and an emasculated dweeb with no balls! Literally! So, where are all these kids coming from? I have some sources that claim Millicent herself is tired of the image and has lobbied for more freedom, some realistic clothes, and a breast reduction. I will reserve comment pending real hard proof. |
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In the meantime,
I was out scouting and happened upon some "Millicent gone wrong" renegades
though not all of them are perfect, I would like to yell a hearty "You GO,
girls!" to them for breaking out of the mold and pushing it as far as they
can. "Reality used to be a friend of mine" does NOT have to be the theme
song for this generation! We can urge our children to look to other role
models like The Bloodhound Gang, Godsmack, and Madonna who may all be wild
but at least they are honest and REAL!
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