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"operation autumn: confessions of a convicted artist"
by bernice
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i was released from a medium-security federal prison only three months ago. i have never killed anyone, scammed any old ladies, or stolen from anyone except for uncle sam. but sammie has a long memory and the resources to punish his enemies, which is how i came to spend the last thirteen years of my life behind bars. i used to be a very promising young artist until i realized that i could make more money painting twenty-dollar bills than i could paining portraits of wealthy ladies and their poodles. |
while in the slammer i was assigned to autumn duty. you've never heard of autumn duty? i'm not surprised. very few people have, and even fewer would dare talk about it. but on this fine october day i can no longer remain silent. the american people deserve to know the truth.
before we continue, i want to emphasize the economic impact that tourism has on our country. many towns, especially those in new england, make the bulk of their annual salaries from summer and early fall tourism. people flock to the beaches for the mild weather, quaint towns, and fresh seafood from memorial day to labor day. then in october, they return to watch the trees change color, leaving large sums of cash behind in local communities. from boston to bangor, autumn is a time to cash in on the beauty of nature. |
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the world has been gradually warming since the last ice age and these effects have been accelerated over the last few decades from the greenhouse effect and the depletion of the ozone layer. combined with the increase of pollution in new england ever since the invention of the steam engine, these forces have merged with a subtle but unquestionable effect: shorter transitional seasons. summer and winter are longer and spring and fall are almost unnoticeable. |
trees have barely two weeks in the summer to green and blossom in spring and to change colors and fall in autumn. this significantly limits the fall tourist season.
this plan is called operation autumn. on october first, thousands of crews or prisoners form chain gangs up and down america's highways. armed with high-powered sprayers and gallons of oil-based paint, they proceed to paint the leaves bright red, orange, rust, and gold. the crews work under the cover of night spraying the most visible trees while helicopters release similar paint into the forests. |
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all during this artificially lengthened fall, they continue this arduous task until the weather turns cold enough to drive the tourists back to their homes. once the winter snows arrive, they cover the evidence and during the course of the long winter, the paint eventually breaks down and washes away when the snows met and run into the ocean, spilling billions of gallons of this paint into the sea every year.
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as a forgery expert, i was instantly assigned to the project and was foreperson of my division during my incarceration. during the other nine months of the year, i oversaw the production of paints in our vast workshops. i have been responsible for the painting of almost eighteen thousand acres, a record that will not soon be broken. i say this not in pride, but in shame. |
i have seen with my own two eyes the horrors of species of squirrels and owls driven to extinction from the fumes and the thick covering of oil in their fur and feathers. i am witness to an industry that is booming because of fraud and greed. i see the trees growing back weaker and thinner each year and wonder if a time will come when we are cutting leaves out of paper and gluing them on each branch because the trees are no longer able to produce them.
where will we be when every tree on the eastern coast has withered and died? or is this in fact the true heart of the plan, to slowly kill our great forests so malls and theme parks can be constructed in their absence? only time will tell, my friends, time will tell. in the meantime, i beg you to discourage this destruction by refusing to fuel the tourist economy during autumn. |
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instead, stay at home and watch a video, read a book, or dedicate your life to joining www.envasion.net in our never-ending search for the truth.
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